Mothers and daughters

What is it about mothers and daughters ? Do we make them in our own image ? Are we made in our mother's image ?

When i asked amma about what she wanted with my first pay cheque very many years back, she just said, all i want is that you do the same for your daughter ! and how i'm struggling to live upto it !

But it is something more in the bond that intrigues me - all the frustration and teenage angst against parents vanish when you turn 18/ 19 years and then i suppose we relate as two women, not so much as mother-daughter. A mother is a daughter's best friend. My best years with amma have been the 5 years of college life when a long leisurely lunch just before hockey practice. The bond built then only grows deeper as one progresses through life through various stages of marriage, childbirth etc. The bond deepens as one becomes a mother.

My almost every interaction with nan, somehow or other links to some memory thread in the past. Today Sumitra said something very poignant - every girl that she has known in twistntales has changed so much after working here a few months. What do i do to my daughters ? Most of them i realise are after my own image. I was like them when i was growing up - only i dnt have a twistntales to offer me a part-time job. O! i would have loved it !

Back to the bonding - the books therefore that i have loved and thoroughly enjoyed esp. in the last few years, have a lot to do with this relationship - "Pitching my tent", "Changing" "Diddi" "Books and Islands" "Shooting Water" ....seems to go on. I suppose it all started with "Exodus" where the realtionship between Elizabeth and Karen was more fascinating to me than the one with Ari Ben Canan.

i especially loved Diddi. It finally in Indian circumstances acknowledged the mother-in-law as well. Hats off to Ira Pande for her generosity. It takes a lot of generosity of spirit to dedicate a book on your mother to your mother-in-law, and not to your father or siblings !

This same thread also makes me feel sad(!) for women who do not have daughters! They miss out a lot in this relationship !